Tuesday 30 April 2013

Food Glorious Food

So how do you choose a formula?  How do you decide what bottles to use and when to change teats etc etc?

I'm a believer in mixed feeding.  I'm defo not a believer in 'my baby won't take a bottle'.  No one gets awards for martyrdom and my pet peeve is the age-old moan from breast feeding mothers about how they don't get any sleep, how their partners can't help out and how they're so exhausted.  Either it's their health visitors putting the emotional pressure on them to breast feed and through exhaustion they can't see the wood for the trees, or they genuinely can't work out how to ask for help.  No well loved, healthy baby is going to suffer from being given expressed or formula milk once a day.  So I can't understand why one wouldn't turn to something to help them.  Surely some sleep and tlc will help milk production and allow your baby to feed better?

From day dot we have mixed fed - so breast fed through the day and night but hubby has given a bottle at 10pm.  For the first few weeks this is expressed milk.  I followed Gina's thoughts with this - it made sense to me - express twice a day - it does wonders for milk production and a few days in I'm expressing over 100mls of milk (so I know baby is also getting plenty too in her feeds).

Giving a bottle for the first time is like giving a boob - it takes a few goes at trying to suckle and get the right positioning etc but once they get it, it works.  And if baby is hungry, they'll take whatever is on offer!

We went for Aptamil formula but only because we were like the sheep at the back of the herd and everyone else seemed to be using it.  There wasn't any big amount of research or reasoning behind it (odd for me as I seem to research everything a million times before I make a decision).  It's worked well for us and we used hungry baby milk as first baby was never full so why rock the apple cart with the second.  As she never really fed much we did try no 1 milk, but she drank the same amount just was hungrier quicker - as I like my routines, we decided to go back to no 2 (hungry baby) milk so the 3-hour routine would be achievable.

A friend really struggled breast feeding with her first and was adamant it was the only way.  Her baby cried and cried (and cried some more).  The health visitors didn't offer her any other options but just encouraged her to carry on trying the boob.  She then started mixed feeding after her sisters gave her the confidence to do it.  At month 4 she went to her GP who was stunned that she was topping up every feed and suggested maybe she just moved onto bottles (every feed was taking over an hour - 40 mins of breast feeding and then doing the bottle too).  She finally saw the wood for the trees, knew she'd 'done her bit' for her baby's start and moved just onto bottles.  It wasn't what she set out to do, but was so much happier now a decision had been made.  With her second, she started breast feeding but was so much more relaxed.  When she started struggling to keep her milk production up, she went straight onto bottles and was much more content.  No pressure from anyone to keep breast feeding, just the confidence that she was doing the right thing for her baby. 

If you only try the bottle once every so often with a baby and expect them to then only take a bottle when you want them to at month 5, of course it'll be a struggle - it's all new.  So my advice is start early and offer a bottle once a day.  I promise you'll be happy with your decision a few weeks down the line.  Plus, hubby will love the responsibility and space to bond with baby - a hugely important time of the day for them too.

I feel like today's been a little schmaltzy!  I'm tired.  My 6-month old isn't playing ball with waking up at 7am - she's hard bent on waking at 6am.  I'm doing my best to sleep train - give it a few more weeks and I'm sure I'll have it nailed!  Will update you on that side of things soon.

Monday 29 April 2013

Back at the start (part 3 - to invite or not to invite ... that is the question)

I was at a baby class/group thing last week and overheard two new mums talking about those first few weeks and how they were overrun with visitors.  If they were to do it again they wouldn't invite so many people round ... I just don't get that.  What else is there to do during the day times when your shattered but baby's awake and you could do with someone else holding the baby (literally)?  Or someone adult to speak to as baby sucks the like out of you (for the tenth time that morning)? My opinion is this - at 38 weeks pregnant, go to Costco and buy a large jar of nescafe, a large box of biscuits (by anyone's standard, a large box of anything from Costco will last aaaaaaaages) and some teabags.  Then just sit back and wait for the door bell to ring (unless you've turned it onto silent because you can't bear for the postie to wake up baby one more time just as you've put him down, in which wait for your phone to ping as people text that their waiting outside).

Why not let people come and see the little shrivelled bundle of fun?  They only want to see tiny babies - by the time you actually feel happy to see other people and feel in control of the baby, it'll be 4 years old and you'll still be a bit unsure about what you're doing. 

I once had a friend who was desperate (I thought) to come and stay with us and see our new little addition to the family.  She came and stayed with us for two nights.  Any 'normal' person would come and help out - offer to change nappies, bath baby - or at the very least make you a cup of tea as you sit with said child attached to your boob.  But no, my husband and I spent two days waiting on her hand and foot, cooking dinner and making lunch as we struggled through week 5 with our first born.  As we dropped her off at the bus station to go home she proudly announced - 'seeing you with a baby has shown me that I'm ready now too' - basically she came, watched as we 'coped' (ish) and left happy to tell her boyfriend she was ready to start trying for a baby!  I think if I was 'do it again' I wouldn't offer for people to stay unless they came ready with receipes and cooking abilities to look after us ...

Even though that was quite exhausting, I totally don't see why you can't have friends and family over on a daily basis to see the little one.  It'll be a crazy two weeks anyway when baby is first born, so why not just go with the flow, have tea, coffee and biscuits already available and just sit back and watch them coo over your quiet baby ... just wait - the moment they leave, your gorgeous, well behaved munchkin will turn into the devil child who can't settle.  But just smile - it happens to us all - you're not the only one ... I promise!

Friday 26 April 2013

A cry's a cry

I can remember reading a couple of books before I had babies and one saying about learning the baby's cry.  It made no sense to me at all and even after the first couple of weeks of a new born I still didn't know what they meant.  But at about 8 weeks-ish it kicked in - I got it and understood what they meant.  To anyone else it might have sounded like my baby was crying, but actually it was a noise that he made when he was settling himself to sleep.  It wasn't a 'I need feeding' cry, but just a 'I might need some help to get off to sleep please' cry. 

But thinking about this is a nice conduit into the next few weeks - if anything else crops up about those early days, I'll definitely mention it, but onwards to the 8-12 weeks period.  For me I am now in the throws of my 3-hour routine.  Up at 7am every morning. 

No swaddling anymore (that stopped at 10 weeks - later than with my first, which stopped at 6 weeks - he was a huge bruiser and bashed his way out of it, the little devil) and on to the growbags.  If you're like me, you'll have baby in their own room, in a cot now for all his sleeps.  I think this is a good aim to have.

Why on earth do people want to share their evenings with their newborns downstairs with them?  And a doubley why on earth would you want to listen to them farting and wriggling around in bed in your room through the night??  As far as I'm concerned, his is where independence starts!  A good aim is to have baby upstairs in the evenings at about 6 weeks (if not before - up to you obviously).  Our first was great at this, the second let the side down slightly and didn't settle well in the evenings until about 15 weeks.  Hubby thought we had a dud, but I was convinced it was about sleep training and we would get there - low and behold we did!  I (yet again) refer to my 'it's hard work' statement.  We had many an evenings where one or both would spend a few hours upstairs going in and out trying to help settle baby.  But those few weeks have been totally worth it.  By 4.5 months we were through the worse and baby settled by herself upstairs at 6.30pm.

I digressed slightly - so, still with the dummy, baby is now sleeping upstairs.  I don't know about you, but it can be sooooooo frustrating trying to keep baby sleeping.  How can you let the washing machine go full on fast (loud) spin for 20 minutes and not a peep, but if you nip to the loo doing some bonkers tip-toe dance to avoid creaky floorboards, trip and the tip of your big toe touches one and makes the slightest noise, you end up with whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and you've buggered it up!!  Grrr ... Anyway, aside from the floorboard dance you hope no one you actually like ever sees you do, it's nice to have a half hour/hour through the day to yourself.

This is the peak period of your 3-hourly routine as soon it's about to change to the really good one - the 4-hourly routine.  Oh boy, I love this one.  More on that to come.

Oh, and one note about swaddling - if someone says to you 'oh, no my baby won't be swaddled' - bollocks to that - of course they won't if you loosely pass a flimsy piece of cotton over them.  Get a decent blanket and wrap fairly tightly around their arms/chest.  So maybe cross arms over chest and wrap across so you can tuck one side under baby's back to keep it 'done up'.  Please be sensible here - obviously you can't restrict their breathing, so don't do it too much.  Just think - if I was wrapped up in it like this, would it feel too much or just right for me?  If the latter, you've done a stirling job!

Thursday 25 April 2013

Back at the start (part 2 - burp ... pardon)

I remembered last night how worried I was about wind, baby pulling his legs up to his tummy and poos.  Oh yes, those wonderful first few weeks of concern are just great fun, not.

As well as engorged and painful breasts, you'll find shit takes over your conversation.  Or maybe your conversation just turns to shit ... I don't know.

Our first had horrendous problems with wind, although our second didn't suffer as much at all (maybe a sign that we were just left concerned, or a sign that they were just both different - I'm slightly edging towards the former theory, but anyway).  Does baby cry, pull his legs up to his tummy, make lots of discomfort noises and then let out a little fart?  We tried Infocol, gripe water, anything that might help.  In the end, our doctor gave us the best anecdotal advice that worked wonders for us (although I haven't found anyone else willing to try it, however much they say their baby struggles with wind) - onion water.  So, you roughly chop half an onion, place in small bowl and just cover with boiled water.  Once it's cooled you can keep in fridge for 24 hours.  Put a teaspoon in each feed and see the magic happen - boy, those noises will treble I can tell you!  Amazing stuff.  Farts and poo come at regular intervals - pretty awesome (although bloomin' smelly milk - don't be put off).  Our poor first born was filled with Infocol before feeds, onion water during and gripe water after!  Maybe it was this tri-potion that helped, or maybe his body just worked out how to deal with air over those first few weeks.  Either way, by 10 weeks we were off it all and he was feeding well (albeit with lots of sick still).

Do you find baby is sick a lot?  It's another 'please don't worry' moment - it's really common and although it may look A LOT to you, it isn't really.  If you try to picture all that sick back in the bottle, 10/20mls would look like loads after it's been puked up.  But if baby has had a 120mls bottle, they've still kept loads down.  So do try and put it in perspective (however annoying that may sound).  It goes back to the age old, is baby generally contended between feeds, are baby's nappies wet, is baby alert etc etc - in which case don't worry, he's fine - and give it another few days and the sickness will subside.

Oh yes, hindsight is a wonderful thing - with your first you'll find yourself worrying, panicking, being concerned about what's wrong with baby.  And a few days later you'll find yourself saying 'oh, a tooth has come through - maybe that's why he was crying so much the other night', or, 'oh, baby has got d and v - maybe that's why he wouldn't eat as much yesterday' or somesuch!  But with every one of these 'oh ...' moments, it'll add to your confidence and knowledge and will help with the next 'why is baby upset' or not doing something you think he should, so just go with it and enjoy each epiphany moment!

The other thing to mention here is it is perfectly common for some babies to poo 4 times a day and some to poo once every 4 days - if you have one of these extremes, don't worry - it's fine and perfectly normal.  Don't get drawn into a comparison with other mummies - it'll drive you crazy.

And the boobs.  Oh the boobs.  Breast feeding or not they'll be huge by now.  Enjoy the look (not the feel) as it won't last long.  Gravity and sagging will soon take over.  Buy Lanisol by the bucketload and layer the bloody stuff on after each feed.  It's the only way to stop the cracking and soreness.  And if you're lucky (?!) like me, you may even get bruised nipples for a while too - oh, that's a joy.  Don't worry - that pain does go after a couple of days, but it's pretty crap whilst it lasts.  Keep feeding through from that one - otherwise you'll get pain from full breasts - the former is the lesser of two evils.  Tomorrow I'll go on to the exciting topic of mixed feeding - booby-feeding, single minded mummies may not want to read!

Wednesday 24 April 2013

Still back at the start (part 1)

I don't think I'm ready yet to advance onto 8-12 weeks - I realised yesterday when I was at the gym that there's still quite a few issues I've not mentioned that may be things you are experiencing at the very moment ...

Most importantly - if you're still pee-ing in the bath - don't worry - it won't last forever.  I can remember being ripped to shreds, sitting in a salt water bath after my first, relieving myself (of urine!) wondering why the fuck people do this?  And why no one told me about this bit.  Where is the dignity in bathing in your own piss?  And why on earth would anyone do this again now they know this???  Where is the fun in having to take a jug to the toilet every time I have to pee and pouring cold water over my bits just to make it not sting as much??  It isn't fun, believe me ... But I can assure you first time mothers, as you loofer your dry skin off with pee-stained water, it will start to subside soon.  And come another week or so, you will finally be able to wee all by yourself with no liquid assistance.  Obviously by then the pain and discomfort will be taken over by the sore nipples and exploding boobs - but that's for another time.

Anyway, other things I wanted to mention - the dummy.  Oh, the dreaded dummy that people will judge you on until the end of time.  And don't get me wrong, I'm the first to look at a child over 18 months, walking around with a dummy in, judging and tutting (sorry to my best friend - I don't judge you, just your child ... ha!) - but I am a huge believer in the dummy in those first few months.  I have done a lot of reading and am persuaded by the notion that babies like sucking - they have a desire to suck and look to do that to help sooth themselves - so if this is the case, why not give them something that will help in those early, dark (dark!) days??  And I'm also a little judgemental about those who say 'oh no, my baby won't take a dummy' - of course they won't at the start - it's about as unnatural as going to bed at 7pm and staying asleep for 12 hours! - But it's about training and helping them on this little journey.  Again, I refer to the 'it's hard work' statement I may have mentioned once or twice before - a lot of questioning yourself as you walk in and out of the room, placing the dummy in over and over - but after a couple of days, they'll be up for the challenge and will realise it's a great soother for them - some (well, our friends over the pond) would say it pacifies them.  Okay, call it a pacifier if it makes you feel better about shoving it in.

And when you want to do your 3-hourly routine and have baby sleeping regularly, a dummy can help a huge amount - you know baby has been fed and you know the dummy will help them to sleep - i.e. you'll realise you're not questioning yourself over whether you should go and feed again or somesuch.  Plus, I think it's easier to lose the dummy than lose the notion of feeding to sleep or rocking/cuddling to sleep.

I was in a right panic with my second as she was soooooo dependent on the dummy to go to sleep.  With our first we got rid at night time four and a half months, but as we approached that age, I couldn't see it happening.  But at 5 months it just felt right - she was settling herself in the night without it and so that was it - another boot camp-style of hardcore-ness.  Bang on 5 months, the dummy was stopped there and then.  And you know what - after all the worrying and angst about the terrible nights ahead, it worked!  Within 20 mins (mostly quicker) she was asleep with no dummy and we didn't use it again. 

With our first we kept use of the dummy in the day time (I couldn't deal with a crying baby in public!) but by the time we had our second I was more confident with how to deal with a tired baby trying to get off to sleep.  So she just went to bed one night and didn't get given the dummy again.  So my feeling is that it's a great sleep aid whilst you get into your routine and find your feet, but then once you're confident with the sleep times and feeds (i.e. you know baby is full, changed and contented) get rid.  It's definitely easier to get rid now than go to the doctor's or dentist at 2/3 yrs old and get told baby's teeth are growing funny because of the dummy, or baby's speech hasn't developed as well because of the dummy etc etc etc ... (again, apols as I know that sounds judgemental, but I guess this is about my views ...).

Tuesday 23 April 2013

And it goes on ...

I can remember when I had my first and someone was criticising me for being so routine led - I wanted to pop out to the shops but was in the middle of my awake time and knew that as soon as I popped said-little one in the car seat, he'd fall asleep (thus cutting short awake time).  They thought I was bonkers running my life around when I wanted baby to sleep and be awake and thought I should be much free-er with it all ... Pah!  That very person has since had a baby of their own and is the most inflexible scheduled person I know!!  My point being - sod everyone else, you're the one who can proudly announce you're having wonderful nights and great sleeps in the daytime a few months later!  Although obviously getting wound up when they point out how easy your baby is - FOR THE SECOND TIME - IT'S EFF-ING HARD WORK TO GET HERE!!!

I thought today I would way up the pros and cons to starting your day at 7am.  My poor partner was against the idea and thought we should go with the flow in the mornings and hope baby would have a lie in so we could.  Being the total control nerd that I am (note how I refrained from using the phrase control freak - just to make myself feel better about my slight OCD control issues!) I felt it was best to go military style on baby's arse and start at 7am regardless of what happened through the night.  Obviously this can make for a very long, exhausting day for you.  It's hard work - yes, something some people forget when they say 'oh, you have such an easy baby' (when they see them settle themselves and sleep through) is that we have worked bloody hard to get here!  The lack of sleep, the early starts, the routine - it's really hard work and emotionally exhausting, but I promise you - it's worth it!! 

So, pros to the 7am start every day (thus leading into your 3-hourly routine of feeds at 10am, 1pm, 4pm and 6.30pm [start bedtime early]) is just that - you know where you are.  You know that even if you had to feed at 5am, get up at 7am to feed and at least your day is normal (well, however one would class normal at this point).  The cons - LACK OF SLEEP!!  I know, soooooooooo tempting and easy to stay in bed if baby has ... but think about the long game.

Hmmmm - has today turned into a bit of a moan??  Hope not - was getting a few things off my chest that may strike a chord with you and help in some way.

Oh, and one other thought for today that helped me immensly - no one person is right - read books and blogs and speak to people you respect (however much you like someone, try and speak to those who have had babies in the past 12-18 months - they'll have the best memories and will be best placed to recall what they did) and ask loads of questions.  Then take a slice of this and a piece of that from them all and create your own routine and thoughts for how you want to deal with baby.  Everyone is different and everyone'll deal with things differently.  I think my way is the best way because I did all that and this has now worked for me - but that's just me.  You may be different.  But my strongest feeling about it all is that it's about you.  What makes you comfortable will rub off on baby.  I.e. I'm the antithesis of baby-led.  I believe that you can create the baby's routine for them that works for you. 

Will try and be more time specific in next post about where we're now up to with baby ... where are we?  10-12 weeks (ish)?

Monday 22 April 2013

Next few weeks

Baby is now 2-6 weeks old.  I'm afraid to say you will probably still be in the WTF-period.  Everyone goes on about how 6 weeks is a massive turning point.  I remember sitting in the pub with a friend and a nice cup of tea (hmmm, okay, it was wine) at this point with both of us shattered and confused wondering where this miraculous 6 week turning point would happen (at 6.5 weeks!) ... Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn't just happen.  Maybe at about 8-10 weeks you'll suddenly realise you're a bit more on the ball and a bit more confident about how to deal with baby.  And then gradually your confidence will get stronger and you'll look back and see what people meant.  But please don't expect this big cloud lifting - it didn't for me and you're perfectly normal if it hasn't for you.

Other infurating questions your co-nct-ers and co-parenting class people may say 'do you do tummy time?', 'do you have nappy off time?' and/or 'has your baby gone through yet?' ... If answer is no to all the above - DON'T WORRY.  Sod them.  None of these really matter at the moment and you could drive yourself bonkers if you're trying to keep up with the Joneses.  For me, I was now getting into my 3-hour feeding routine (and just to be clear to those who may wonder - it's 3 hours from when you started the feed.  So if you started the feed at 10am but it took 50 minutes to do, still start the next feed at 1pm).  You can play along with your peers at a later date when it's more relevant!  For now, just nod and go home, panic with your partner that you haven't done it and then remember it doesn't matter for now!

Baby may settle brilliantly in the day but not in the evening, or vice versa - but if you aim for your routine, you're also helping to sleep train baby.  Oh yes, that old adage that will freak out earth mothers - baby is small and young but it doesn't do any harm getting into a routine now to help baby know when they should sleep.  I'm sure some bo-ho mothers will disagree, but it's worked for me brilliantly and after all, this blog is all about me, so there we go!

Oh, and colic is another that comes into play here.  Does baby have colic?  Is baby crying A LOT in the evenings?  One point to mention here about winding - wind and wind and wind some more.  Even after baby has done a huge burp and isn't seemingly going to burp anymore - keep patting and rubbing for another.  You might be surprised the noises that come up 2-3 minutes after you wanted to stop. And please remember this time of day - i.e. it's late afternoon/evening.  If you've been up at 7am doing your 3-hourly times, baby will be exhausted by now.  She's tired and needs lots of sleep.  She's probably feeding to settle herself more and more.  And this is one point where the overfeeding comment in my previous post does slightly contradict itself ... one piece of advice I found invaluable was from Gina (I hated her less at this point!) - if you find yourself feeding every hour/90 mins just to help settle baby in the evening - you're not allowing baby's tummy time to digest everything.  So she may have wind/tummy cramps just trying to allow it all to get through her system.  Maybe try not feeding through the evening but try a little water?  Or try a cuddle and a nappy change?  We did this and after 2 days the constant crying had subsided and I realised that my theory about sleep training was right again - yes yes, some may feel you can't sleep train a 6 week old - I don't mean leaving them to cry by any stretch of the imagination - I just mean if your mind thinks you're sleep training, you'll be less likely to resort to feeding to settle and more likely to find something else to help them settle.  Then feed them at 10pm (or whenever your 3 hour routine takes you to) and see them take a massive, satisfying feed, that they're ready for.

Does that last bit makes sense?!  I hope so - it does to me, but it's easier to understand in hindsight.  Do ask questions if it doesn't and you're not sure ... And of course, if baby is crying chronically for other reasons, do speak to your health visitor or GP (obviously the latter - still can't bring myself to contact the former as they offer no help to me whatsoever) - maybe there's something else to be looking out for.

I still have no 'views' - maybe someone, somewhere, will come across this soon ...! Fingers crossed.  Am interested to know if this is of any help/use/interest to someone/anyone!

Wednesday 17 April 2013

First week or so

I still haven't quite worked out how to write this blog.  Should it be funny, witty anecdotes about having children?  Obviously that would be nice if I could actually be a funny writer, but it doesn't seem as though I am ... so instead I'm going to take a rather boring approach and just about what I know.  I hope that's accpetable for you guys!

First thing's first - don't get drawn into a false sense of security in the first week.  But use it as a great place to catch up on some sleep at any possible point during the day or night.  Baby will sleep a lot.  And I know this goes against some people's school of thought, but why not use this time to start a bit of a routine for yourself?  You can do this either breastfeeding or bottle feeding.  If baby is sleeping for long stints, wake him up and feed him every 3 hours.  This doesn't mean to say you shouldn't feed him before the 3 hours, but I wouldn't want him going for more than 3 hours without a feed during the day time - at night time ignore this and only feed when he wakes - long sleeps at night are good for baby AND YOU!

My experiences are that my first fed every 2 hours to start with (exhausting!!) and my second every 3 (although wasn't that fussed so would have probably have gone longer).

I worried about this every 2 hour thing, thinking I was over feeding - but babies are very clever - if you've overfed, they'll just puke up what they don't need.  Or they'll stop before they get to that point - it's a very helpful tool - so just go with the flow here.  Once I moved onto bottles at 3 weeks, my second wouldn't have more than 50/60mls (2 ozs) for weeks and weeks.  Here I worried that I was under feeding her - but remember the cardinal rules - are they sleeping?  Are their nappies wet?  Is their temperature okay? Are they feeding?  If the answer is yes to these, you're doing fine.  No, more than that - you're doing brilliantly - keep it up!!

Oh, and my final thing to say - the routine is less about what's needed for baby and more about what's needed for you.  If this is your first you may in the throws of the WTF-period - yeah, that's pretty hellish.  Searching for what you should be doing now and next.  But having a routine, something to aim towards may just help that - I found it did immensly.  And if this is your second - if your hubby is anything like mine (you know the type - rose-tinted glasses, forgetting how hard it was first time round) you'll be feeling the pressure of having a sleeping baby in a fab routine within the first 2 weeks!! 

So, write everything down because you may find you're in more of a routine than you first realised.  Plus, if this is your first - writing everything down now (feed times, nappy change times, sleep times etc) is a BRILLIANT reference for the next one.  It'll calm you down and remind you you're on track and things aren't taking twice as long (as said hubby thinks they are).

That's all for today. 

Tuesday 16 April 2013

The beginning ...

So, this is my first time to write something live online but having had a few friends saying that I should write a blog, I thought I'd give it a go.

A little about me - I have two children under 3 and I am convinced a good routine will get your children sleeping through the night and sleeping good naps in the day.  I wanted to offer advice to people with new babies just to help build their confidence with what they're doing.

If this interests you, or you want to know more, please post any questions you have.

But my first piece of advice for today is - DON'T WORRY!  However exhaused you are, or however run down you are, IT WILL GET BETTER.  I absolutely promise that.

Please don't drive yourself mad with when to start a routine or when to put babies down for sleeps - it will sort itself out and it's more about you and when you're ready to do it.  If you're worrying about it and obsessing over it (as I did with my first), you're just not ready yet.  After all, routines are more about you and knowing what you're doing rather than the baby - the baby will catch up with you whatever you end up doing ...

I thought I needed to start a routine at day 1.  Then I panicked I should have done it by week 3.  Then I was worrying at week 5 we still weren't in a strict routine.  But in hindsight we were getting into a routine.  And even with my second baby the worries are still there.

The most irritating thing someone can say to me now is how luck I am that my babies are so good ... IT'S TAKEN A LOT OF HARD WORK (on both sides) to get here ... and we still have our moments, don't get me wrong.  But both children are happy, well rounded and brilliant at playing - a sign that they sleep well and are contented.

Anyway, I feel as though that is enough from me today.  I shall start tomorrow on a few more back to basics ...