One thing that people don't always tell you (Gina!) is that invariably when doing a routine (strict of not) there will be one period of the day between feeds where baby just won't play ball. However much you plead, request and beg baby to be nice and do what you want, they just won't. With our first, in the first 5 weeks it was always the time after the 10.30pm/11pm feed. He just wouldn't settle to sleep after until we fed him again at 2pm (little bugger). We then had great fun over the following 10 weeks as this unsettled period moved around the 24 hours. So one day it would be between 7-10am, another in the evenings etc. So the majority of the time he would be great and play ball, but for one 'section' of the day he just wouldn't.
We had a total shocker when trying Baby Whisperer's 'pick up put down' method - one afternoon baby just wouldn't settle (he was 17 weeks old). So I did the old 'going in, pick up, wait for him to calm down and then put down' method. But my goodness, it didn't work for us and after 70 minutes of a balling baby I gave up, got him up, fed him, put him in the car seat and off we went for a drive, as he popped off to the land of nod. I felt so terrible I went and bought him three new outfits from Tescos!! Okay, he might not have acknowledged the apology, but I felt a little better! After that I realised that method just wasn't for me and I'd try something different. (More on that another time, but essentially it was the dreaded controlled crying - but was brilliant for us and I like to refer to it more as 'controlled self soothing' - it sounds better and is a better description).
So, back to present day and that aged old question of whether the routine is all worth it. I have had this exact conversation with husband pretty much every morning for the past 5 weeks. You see, our second is getting there with her sleep training but just wouldn't play ball in the mornings. She was waking up at 6am every day. And every day we would lie in bed, listening to her crying, then cooing then crying a bit again until we would go in at 6.45am (that it my cut off when we are 'allowed' to go in). You see we did this with our first - wouldn't get him up until 7am regardless of when he woke up. So we lie in bed, awake, arguing about it being ridiculous that we are all awake (by now the second has woken up the first too) but doing nothing about it. Well, I can (finally) say, yey - it was worth it. The questioning and the wonder has worked. For the past 5 mornings our little cherub (?!) has slept until 7am. Ah, she's learning!
My advice - after one argument too many, I asked said-husband to support me and back me up. Sometimes at 6am when I'm shattered, I just want to go in and get her, but I need him to help remind me why we're doing this and that we should stay strong and not go in for an easier life at that time. And he did. A frank conversation helped and we worked as a team. So just have that open line of communcation with each other and back each other up when one is weakening through exhaustion.
After all, a 6am start might not be that horrendous for everyone, but when that creeps to 5am (as a number of friends have experienced), I know I wouldn't be able to function when I go back to work getting up at that time every day.
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